Perfectly Wrong
by DaniJade
Summary: ...Naminé told me too. I tried to fight the decision, but I couldn't. So here it is, a story of my own, filled with fun and faggotry. ...not really.


This is crack. Complete and utter crack. And Mary-Sue bashing. Lots of. Enjoy.

Perfectly Wrong

This is the story of a girl named Manten Karei, an OC who was about to be transported to a far off land to meet ninja's, defeat evil and fall in love… "Really?" No. "Damn." Anyway, let's get onto the story…

Manten was walking around her neighbourhood, when she was attacked by a gang of hobos with magical powers. She, being a black belt in Jujitsu, Kung Fu, Tae Kwon Do and Yaoi, avoided their attacks, gave them makeovers and taught them to be upstanding citizens before continuing home.

As she got home she was met with her mother, Ikeike; yelling at her, accusing her of being a slut and slapped her to the floor; pulling on her long blonde hair, causing her beautiful sapphire eyes to fill with tears. Her father; Hiretsukan ignored this, not caring, having wanted a boy and Manten being a failure.

She quickly ran out the door, with her bag in hand and ran away. '_Why does my life have to suck?'_ She asked herself as she kicked a stone in her way. She came to a puddle that was as wide as the street that she'd have to wade through if she wanted to get across. A few questions come to mind, such as: 1) why would she have to wade through a puddle, 2) It's the middle of summer, and it hasn't rained for nearly a month, where'd the puddle come from? And 3) was this puddle even here when she walked home earlier?

She began to walk through the puddle when suddenly she fell through a plot hole! "Aieee! I'm gonna die!" How nice for you. "Hey, aren't you going to help me?" Nope, I'm just the writer and narrator, and while I am all powerful, the story would end too quickly if I did. "So it won't end fast if I DIE?!" Nope. Just wait and see. "Where'd the water go?" Does it really matter at this point? "Er… not really. Right now where was I?" Screaming for your fucked up little life. "Thanks! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!" She braced herself for impact, and waited, but nothing happened. As she opened her eyes, she saw a rooftop getting closer. She made impact and passed out.

As Manten woke up she noticed something silver she closed her eyes, and rolled over, before coming to a realization and shooting up in the bed again. '_OMFG It's…It's…'_ Manten stuttered, at a loss for words, and so resorted to 'txt spk'.

'_**Kakashi!'**_ Her inner self, named Fuka screamed in her head. '_**Hmm, what should we do first? Take his mask off**_? _**Hide anything that isn't either pink or purple? Rape him?'**_ Fuka ranted excitedly.

'_Fuka! You can't say stuff like that!' _Manten shuddered at the thought. YEAH! Think about the flamers! I'll get my ass kicked! Kakashi woke up at this time, to find a golden haired, cerulean eyed girl in his bed. '_Naruto playing a dumb prank again.' _He thought to himself, and deciding to play along, he hugged the girl in bed with him "Good morning honey." He smirked beneath his mask.

Manten immediately freaked out "You perverted freak!" she yelled and tossed him off the bed. '_**No, no! Don't beat him up! Hug him back, take his mask off! Get out the pink socks!' **_Fuka yelled as Manten punched him in the gut.

'_Oh yeah, I'm supposed to fall in love with him, huh?' _Not if the fangirls have anything to say about it. '_They don't, …do they?'_ We'll see…  
Kakashi by now had figured out that this girl was not Naruto '_But who is she?' _He asked himself '_Furthermore, who is this voice narrating?'_ Oh, don't mind me, I'll only show up in the plot to annoy the OC. '_OC?'_ Don't ask. Concentrate on the girl in your bed, the voice in your head will shut up for a while. '_That sounds promising.'_ It shouldn't. '_I was being sarcastic.'_ Uhh, girl in your room. Focus on HER. '_Right.'_ Kakashi turned to the girl, who seemed lost in thought. "Who are you?"  
"I'm Manten Karei. I'm a black belt at four different martial arts, including one which doesn't really exist, I'm incredibly beautiful and have a crappy home life. Now can you take me to the Hokage so they can make me a ninja?" She stated, flicking her luxorious blonde hair back.  
"Er… no?"  
"WHY THE HELL NOT?!"  
"Because a) you're a civilian and b) you brought a voice that narrates everything with you and c) …well, you've never been trained." Kakashi pointed out, wondering exactly how her face wasn't going red from how worked up she was getting. "So? This is fan fiction! FUCK THE RULES!" Manten yelled tears pricking the corners of her eyes. Jumping onto the windowsill and posing dramatically against the rising sun she looked back at Kakashi, "I'll go to the hokage myself!" she declared, and ninja leapt to the roof and started making her way to the hokage's office.

Halfway there, logic and gravity caught up with her and she plummeted down between to buildings and landed on her head, effectively both breaking her neck and messing up her hair. "YOU BITCH!" She screamed at the narrator, "THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!" You were getting too full of yourself. It was annoying. Manten's next insult caught in her throat, and she gurgled, before choking on her own spit and dying. Ibiki who caught this final scene whilst on his morning walk sighed. "Not this shit again…" Yes. " I'd appreicate it is you didn't kill them all. I make paperwork, and Tsunade's already behind in it." Okie dokie then. With that Ibiki picked up the OC's body and took it to the morgue where it was cremated and the ashes used as fertilizer in the Yamanaka's flower shop.

Needless to say, the flowers all died and Ino's mother kicked the crap out of the mortician.


End file.
